Okay, so from the feature picture, you can already tell that my mashed potato portions are way off. This was no accident. I love mashed potatoes.
Like most of the recipes I feature, they can be modified for different diets. This one, for example, could easily be paleo, without the lentils and with meat instead of a mushroom spiced replaced.
I was also too lazy to open a can of corn, which I’m sure would be a great addition to this recipe.
- 4 large potatoes (pretty sure there’s a specific kind to use, but I just grabbed whatever from the grocery store)
- A decent amount of mushrooms (it depends on how big you want the layer to be, right? I used an 8″ cast iron pan for frying the layers and baking)
- 1 cup of brown lentils (cooked prior to use or directly from can after being drained)
- Almond milk (for the mashed potatoes, can use any sort of dairy replacement/alternative)
- Salt & pepper
- Nutritional yeast flakes
- Optional: Additional layers like corn, or any vegetable really.
- Optional: For a sweet twist, try using mashed yams or sweet potatoes. For a soft touch of sweetness add a layer of cooked beets (the color alone is gorgeous).
- Cut and boil potatoes until soft (leave the skins, they won’t kill you).
- Cut and fry mushrooms with lentils, salt & pepper, and rosemary. Again, spice to your personal taste. Fry until mushrooms and wholly cooked and sizzling.
- Slice and boil carrots.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Layer carrots over mushroom/lentil fry. Here you would also layer any other vegetables, which should be cooked and soft before adding.
- Mash potatoes once cooked, spicing with salt and pepper, and adding a dash of almond milk to make them more creamy. I don’t really care if they’re chunky, but that might just be me. Also I have to use a cup to mash the potatoes because I’m working in a student kitchen and also, it works fine, so leave me be.
- Layer potatoes on top of everything, and sprinkle a heavy layer of nutritional yeast flakes on top. This is the all-time best cheese replacement ever in case you didn’t know.
- Bake for 20 minutes, or until funny popping sounds (lentils bursting) start coming from the oven.
At this point, if you find yourself starting to hate that I don’t put exact measurements all the time, I need you to understand something. First off, I do apologize. Second off, I don’t really apologize because I don’t use measurements when it comes to proportioning layers/spicing. Taste test like its your day job, people. Trust me. A lot of the time you can eye-ball these sorts of measurements, and if you’re not used to cooking like that- isn’t learning new things fun?
All the best,
The Dirt Mouth
I’m not sure a recipe gets more simple than this… Except for kale chips. Those were pretty easy too.
- Canned chick peas, drained, as many cans as your heart desires (with consideration for your supply of pans)
- Some sort of oil (avocado, olive, etc)
- Salt, pepper, assorted spices
- Preheat oven to 450.
- Mix chick peas and oil using the following ratio: 1/2tbs oil to 15oz can of chickpeas. Alternatively, without measurements, you want a light sheen across all chick peas- how else are they supposed to hold the seasoning?
- I like to use 1/2 tsp of salt, 1/2 tsp of pepper, but seasoning isn’t as hard as you think. Less is more to start, and if you’re daring enough to try one before they’re cooked, that’ll give you plenty direction on how much more to add.
- Bake for 35 minutes, or until they’re a more lovely golden brown and crunchy.
- I mean, they’re going to get stale eventually, but I was eating mine for weeks. I have low standards about that sort of thing.
Keep your love of PB cookies, cut the extra sugar, gluten, hell, cut the extra everything. Let’s do this. How does four ingredients sound for minimalist? Hard to believe, I know- guess you guys will have to trust me on this one.
Prep Time: 5-10 Minutes
Cook Time: 10-15 Minutes
- 1 1/3 cup of all natural peanut butter (I use Adam’s, love the stuff)
- 1 egg
- 1/3 cup of maple syrup (can also substitute honey)
- Optional: crushed peanuts, chocolate chips, oatmeal, raisins, basically anything else you can think of. Because this is a consistency conscious recipe, the amount you add is fairly subjective to the consistency you want and the size of the cookies.
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. (Notice I’ve been remembering to do this first? Little victories.)
- Throw it all in a bowl.
- As mentioned above, this recipe is all about consistency, so as long as you have the right consistency, feel free to add as much “optional” items as you want, balancing the consistency with more peanut butter. If you find yourself adding whole cups of optional ingredients, it might be worth it to throw in an extra egg. Look at you, living life on the edge.
- Place spoonfuls (a Dirth Mouth original measurement) onto parchment paper, evenly spaced. The cookies won’t expand too much.
- Bake for 10-15 minutes, or until the edges brown. They burn suddenly, so keep an eye on them.
- They’ll come out of the oven fairly soft- don’t worry about it, they’ll harden as they cool.
Honestly, even if you’re not into health, these cookies rock because they’re so damn easy to make. I mean, that’s not a challenge, I’m sure you could butcher this recipe if you really tried. So lets not. Enjoy!
For all you gluten-wise eaters out there, you can thank me later- spaghetti squash is the best thing since almond flour biscuits. Light in texture and absorbent with sauces, this vegetable replacement for pasta hasn’t failed me in a recipe yet. My favorite use is vegetarian Pad Thai; the squash soaks up the sauce and pairs perfectly with the crunch of peanuts, and the kick of red chili peppers.
Prep Time: 15 minutes.
Cook Time: 45 minutes.
Yield: Depends on the size of the squash, but a midsize squash should give you about 3 cups of noodles.
- 1 spaghetti squash
- Avocado or olive oil
- Optional: seasoning for the seeds.
- Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
- Slice spaghetti squash in half, do your best to keep all your fingers in the process. More difficult than you’d think.
- Scrape out all the icky gooey innards of the squash, here you will be reminded of scraping out a pumpkin.
- Optional: separate the seeds from the icky gooey mess; rinse and dry them; season them lightly with oil and spices you would use for pumpkin seeds. (i.e. Salt, pepper. I have an unreal caramel sprinkle that has never led me astray).
- Lightly oil your now scraped halves of spaghetti squash. Place face down on an oven-safe pan or dish.
- Optional: this is also when you would bake your seeds. Watch them carefully, turn them often, and no, they won’t be in there for the full 45 minutes- more like 10-15 minutes.
- Bake squash for 45 minutes, upon removing from the oven, you should be seeing some noodle-like separation in what was once the “rind” of the squash.
- Let cool. Scrape out with a fork, and use within 48 hrs of baking.
You read that right folks, two beautiful, nutty staples in one go.
- Cheese cloth
- Blender and/or food processor
- Soak almonds in water for a minimum of 12 hrs and a maximum of 24 (yeah, yeah, so I soaked them too long once or twice, life is busy).
- Blender for almond meal, food processor for flour.
- If you know for sure that you want almond milk, then you can just add all the water and almonds into the blender or food processor.
– Blend until smooth, and remember, as much water as you add, that is the amount of almond milk you will have. Keep in mind, its not going to be as thick as the store bought trash.
– Once you have finished blending/processing, run the solution through the cheese cloth, catching the almond milk in a container and placing the almond paste on a lightly greased cookie sheet.
- If you don’t want flour/meal, drain the water and place in appropriate machine. Blend/process until smooth/desired consistency. Place mulched contents on a lightly greased cookie sheet.
- Preheat oven to 200 degrees and bake with occasional stirring until completely dry. This may take a few hours so clear your schedule.
– Truth be told, whenever I’ve had to do this, either I’ve had the time, or I’ll do it bit by bit when I’m home. Dry them for an hour, take them out and do the same when I get home later. I’m still breathing so it must not be that bad for the almonds.
- If the crumble is too course, place in a food processor after it is completely dry. Don’t over-process, as with most nut flours, they’re always going to retain a little oil and you run the risk of making a paste. There are no returns at that point.
Here is my all time favorite almond banana meal recipe by the beautiful and talented Dana. Add a brown sugar/walnut crumble on top and you are good to go, trust me. Super filling and just all around awesome. Ah. I’m making myself hungry.
All the best,
The Dirt Mouth
First off, I’d like to say they’re really good. Secondly, no, they do not taste like beef burgers.
Now that I’ve gotten that out of the way, I can cut to the good stuff.
I am newly vegetarian/vegan because
A.) Finding meat in a small town without the packaging is possible, it just means I would need to approach a local farmer before they butcher the cow/chicken- and really, I’ve never been a huge fan of meat anyways.
B.) I’ve been in need of a diet change, I definitely have some ignored intolerances. Why not go with the zero waste flow?
I began by googling black bean burger recipes, but as per usual, just ended up scanning several, getting the gist of it, and doing my own thing.
- 16oz can of black beans, drained and rinsed.
- 1 red bell pepper, diced.
- 1/2 a red onion, finely chopped.
- A whole bunch of garlic (I love garlic)
- 1 egg (so I guess its not vegan, but it could be with a flaxseed egg!)
- 2 almond flour biscuits, crumbled.
- 1 tablespoon of chili powder
- A few dollops of sweet chili Thai sauce.
- Mash beans in a food processor or with a fork (the fork takes forever, persevere).
- As per usual, throw everything else in the bowl and mush until it seems well mixed.
- Now here’s where it gets a little tricky. If you’re making these on the stove, great, a pan is perfect. These burgers don’t exactly hold together in the same way meat burgers do, even if you add extra eggs. This means the widely spread bars of a BBQ are somewhat of a risk I’m not really willing to take. Therefore, I used a BBQ pizza pan to grill these burgers, but a cast iron pan would also do the trick.
- Cook until blackened (I love when the outside gets crispy), and serve hot. Don’t forget to turn off the BBQ!
Best enjoyed on the deck with a cat.
All the best,
The Dirt Mouth